Social / Relational Well‑Being

…includes attending to healthy boundaries, cultivating clergy friendships, caring for others, and nurturing diverse professional and personal relationships. It also includes acknowledgement and healing from traumas of racism, sexism, homophobia, and other forms of oppression.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6.2)

One thing that I can do right now:

Call or text a clergy friend and tell them you are thankful for their friendship. If you have time, tell them about the best thing that has happened in your ministry this week. Or, depending on the relationship, tell them the worst thing that has happened in your ministry this week.

Spiritual practices for social / relational wellness:

Practice forgiveness. Ask yourself who you might need to forgive today and consider how you could exhibit grace, and begin the work of reconciliation.
Take a boundary course, to think about (or re-think about, if you have already taken one but it has been a while) your relationships with others.
Make a list of three people that you trust and why they are trustworthy to you.
Think about how you best receive love from others, and consider those nearest to you and they might be similar or different in this aspect.

Better than Success : 8 Principles of Faithful Leadership.

A few books about social / relational wellness:

Charles Jeffrey Woods. Better than Success: 8 Principles of Faithful Leadership. Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, Judson Press, 2001. Available on Judson Press. Also available on Amazon.
Chapman, Gary D. The Five Love Languages : How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago, Northfield Pub., 1992. Available on Amazon.

A similar reflection on this concept can be found at Truity.com: New Research Shows There Are Actually Seven Love Styles Not Five

A person I could talk to:

Two important resources for clergy for social/relational wellness are Ministers Council Chapter leadership, and corresponding Region staff members. These local leaders help to provide boundary training, connect clergy to small groups, provide support when needed, offer opportunities for service to others, and help discern when structural oppression is impacting your ministry. Here is how you find them.

Region Executives and Staff: www.abc-usa.org/how-we-serve/american-baptist-regions/
Ministers Council Chapter Leadership: Email ministerscouncil@abc-usa.org for your chapter’s information

A Ministers Council resource available to me:

A Duke University study found that eighty-five percent of seminary graduates entering the ministry leave within five years and ninety percent of all pastors will not stay to retirement. That fifty percent of ministers drop out of ministry within the first five years and many never to go back to church again. These statistics demonstrate there is a crisis in ministry. That crisis is not limited to those who are leaving ministry, but also affects churches left without leaders. Why are ministers leaving? Many factors exist, but notably ministers complain they were ill prepared, were not well connected, and did not see to matters of selfcare and self-discipline.

Yet there is hope. The Ministers Council, ABCUSA, through a grant provided by the Lilly Endowment Sustaining Pastoral Excellence initiative, led the Together in Ministry program from 2002-2012. Through this 10-year study, we have learned and conclude that successful ministers cultivate consistent collegial support relationships. Specifically, such relationships eliminate isolation, transforming “Lone Rangers” by providing a safe, confidential place and framework in which to make friends and realize healthy collegiality. The Together in Ministry program provides a flexible support system that encourages collaboration and spurs creativity, leading to greater success in sustaining ministers.

Given the successes of Together in Ministry, the Ministers Council serves to facilitate the continuation of existing Together in Ministry groups as well as the creation new Together in Ministry groups. The Ministers Council equips groups so that they can be most effective. Find out more and apply for a TIM grant with this form.

Other denominational resources to explore:

There are specific resources of support for Women in Ministry at the denominational level. More information can be found here.

Other resources are available through the ABHMS Center for Continuous Learning:

Finally, ABCUSA works regularly with the Midwest Ministry Development Network, who provide social and relational support, counseling, assessment, and spiritual guidance for clergy. There are several offices around the country, and they provide support in areas such as professional boundaries, leadership styles, conflict management, working in ministry teams, the church leader’s family, self-care and retirement. Find out more here: www.midwestministrydev.org